Taking a leap of Faith: Overcoming Indecision with Clarity and Confidence

In life, we often face crossroads where we're overwhelmed by too many options, opinions, or details, leading to analysis paralysis. The desire for the “perfect” outcome keeps us stuck. The key to navigating these moments is to trust our intuition, ground ourselves, and turn that energy into practical actions. Even if the steps are small, it's important to trust our instincts and take a leap of faith.

Tap Into Intuition and Ground Into the Body

Our intuition is a powerful guide, but it becomes truly effective when we ground ourselves and transform that energy into inspired action. The sensations we experience serve as information, guiding our next steps. This process isn't about having everything figured out; it's about being curious, taking action based on the insights we receive, and gathering feedback. Even the lessons from a "failed" attempt are valuable, as they help clarify what we don't want and bring us closer to what we do want. Clarity emerges with each step we take.

The Chariot: Moving Forward with Confidence

The Chariot card symbolizes forward movement and victory. To harness its two seemingly opposing energies is the challenge. We love our pro’s and con’s lists, hyper fixating on the “perfect” outcome or destination. But the clarity comes not from overthinking but from gathering data when we take action. Does the result resonate with the essence of energy that I am trying to cultivate? Each action takes us closer to the outcome we desire. Each decision we make builds our sense of self-trust and self-confidence that we will stay true to ourselves and stay in integrity with our values and deepest desires.

The mantra:

"Trusting myself and leading from my intuition clears the path for my highest potential."

Life's Karmic Quality: Flow and Ease

When we allow our focus to come through us (spirit) rather than from us (mind), life takes on a more karmic quality. This shift brings peace, ease, and flow into our lives. It's essential to act on our intuition rather than just discussing it or journaling about it. Life is about trial and error; taking action, even imperfectly, moves us forward. Awareness is the first step, but shifting our reality requires we make active decisions to move in the direction of our goals. You’ll be amazed by the opportunities that begin to unfold once you start to go with the flow rather that insist on going against it.

Establishing Values:

Establishing and adhering to our values is essential, and it begins with self-compassion. Being curious about the quality of our self-talk is important, as it shapes our internal environment and influences our decisions. The unconscious thoughts and stories we tell ourselves play a significant role in our actions. By taking the time to focus on what truly matters to us, we can shift our internal narrative and create meaningful change in real time.

Communication and Connection:

Clear communication is key for achieving our goals. Our priorities become apparent to others when we “walk the talk”, our intentions are undeniable. There are many ways to communicate, but being decisive and showing confidence in your decisions is a surefire way to say more with less.

Once we have clarity, building connections becomes crucial for success. Letting others in can provide support and open up opportunities we might not have seen on our own. Isolation can lead to stagnation, so share your goals and desires with the world and allow others to support you on your journey. There's no need to go it alone!

Leading with Love:

Leading with love (especially self-love) and integrating this approach into our interactions with others helps us stay true to ourselves. By staying in integrity with our values and communicating them clearly through our actions, we build self-trust and confidence. This practice not only nurtures our relationship with ourselves but also enriches our relationships with others. Refuse to abandon yourself in the process of serving others. Honoring yourself while serving others is how we can safely and joyfully build sustainable connections in our lives.

Trusting your intuition and taking action are essential steps to successfully navigate the unknown and expand your vision of what you are truly capable of. Whether you experience success or failure, each step provides valuable information that guides your journey. By leading with love, clarity, and compassion, and by integrating your values into every aspect of your life, you can create a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. Remember, the path to your highest potential is not a destination but a journey of continual growth and self-discovery.

The Illusion of Control

Releasing, the sense of letting go, exerting less effort holding on so tightly should feel like a relief right?

There is a false sense of control that lives in my mind, in the gripping, grasping, holding on to the familiar even though it is very clearly is not only no longer serving me, but is holding me back. Yet there is a sense of familiarity in this energetic pattern, this narrative that runs through me. Giving me that false sense of comfort & control in the known, which can tend to lull me into complacency, even in it’s discomfort that it creates.

My heart however, longs to live in the unknown, in the space just beyond what I have already experienced. Knowing I have touched the edges of this energy, but am hesitant to dive in. To trust that I have what it takes to exist in the new realm, remembering that it does not demand perfection & but rather is fueled by a deep sense of curiosity, play & love.

I remember feeling this fear in my recovery, that I so deeply desired a new reality, but feared I couldn’t sustain it. It took time, patience, practice and an ability to not only allow , but to embrace my imperfections. It meant taking one step, one day at a time… and it is no different now as I look to make another huge shift in crafting my new reality.

I think many of us are in this place, after the past few years our reality has shifted in incredible ways & we’ve been left to rebuild and reestablish our new reality. So I invite you along in my journey of both reinvention & reclaiming the power we’ve always had within.

I look to challenge myself this week to allow myself to play with this new energy, this sense of possibility, notice when & where it feels like I’ve touched on an energy that I want to cultivate more of. What makes me smile a little bit more, makes my heart light up, allows my body to feel free. In that new sense of freedom, can I allow myself to let go, even just a little bit.

Noticing, where do I feel resonance in where I want to go next? Then take one purposeful action at a time, step by step move in that direction & trust that my body, mind, & soul will either reaffirm or redirect me along the way. myself down enough to notice when my thoughts align with a positive sensation in my body. Notice those moments of congruence, of resonance, of connection. Following a new energetic pattern, building a more supportive inner dialogue.

Focusing on where I can invite in more beauty, joy, love, laughter & connection. Noticing those choice points where I can show up for myself, build a deeper sense of self trust by honoring the needs I have, rather than noticing & dismissing them.

I believe all of our pattern & habits serve a purpose. They wouldn’t exist if they didn’t meet a need, but as we grow, evolve & learn we need to remember we have the right to upgrade our habits. We can shift the actions we take, the thoughts we believe to match & support our new selves.

So I invite you if you feel called to also check in and notice where are you ready to let go & loosen the grip?

In that release, that softening, in that dream like state what is calling you?

What feels possible?

Where do YOU light up?

What makes you want to smile, dance, sing?

Where are you experiencing resonance?

What connections make life feel a little bit easier or bring joy into your day?

How can you delight in this process of discovery?

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Ways to explore

DISTANCE REIKI SESSION
embodied energy work & intuitive guidance

NUMEROLOGY BLUEPRINT
own your strengths &
overcome obstacles with greater ease

NUMEROLOGY YEARLY FORECAST
dream big this year & plan accordingly by embracing the energetic opportunities ahead

---

So often, when space is held to gain awareness, perceptions change & the shifts occur.

The wisdom within is given the space to emerge & new energy floods in

Do you feel stuck in old patterns and need a little support to nudge you in the right direction?

I’d love to support you on your journey!

Do you feel the stir?

Women in my circle are waking up to their own brilliance

and it is such an honor to be a witness to this transformation.

The alchemy of remembering, discovering & delighting in all that illuminates who they truly are manifests in so many unique ways, yet the glow is always the same.  

The spark, joy, desire, gratitude, awareness, intuition, deep self trust that develops from daring to dive deep into the unsaids, shake shit up & defy the status quo is palpable. 

It’s inspiring to be surrounded by such brave souls, as the work of self discovery is not for the faint of heart.  

It requires dedication, grit & the ability to leap beyond the edges of your comfort zone. 

It requires taking action even when it doesn't always work out as planned. 

Trusting even when it feels like there’s no evidence to support your decision, but your intuition says otherwise.

Reaching out & allowing others to support, nurture & cheer you on as you do the hard work of showing up. 

I share this to nudge you to recognize the places where you are already doing the work. How can you simply fan the flames that have already been lit within? So often this goes unrecognized when we go the journey alone.  So where can you connect & find support on this path? 

There is such beauty in seeing your own brilliance reflected back to you by others, knowing they’ve seen it all along & have been patiently waiting for you to own it yourself.  

The confidence that builds when your strengths are witnessed, but that also allows the presence of a steady hand to hold as you take the next uncertain steps on your path. 

Connection is key in our healing, in cultivating true wisdom, in creating conversations that speak to the soul.  

I share this in gratitude & in celebration of all of you who are in my circle, as we walk this journey together.

Yoga, Ayurveda & Eating Disorders - Embodied Compassion & Care for the Weary Soul

586 views.... but hardly a peep. No one reaches out… but I know they’re struggling.

There are SO many people who struggle with a difficult relationship with food, yo-yo dieting, disordered eating patterns or full blown eating disorders.. but no one wants to talk about it.

It doesn't have to be that way and there is nothing shameful about it, we all are trying to survive with the coping mechanisms we currently have, but there is a more compassionate way.

DIET TALK IS EVER PRESENT, but why not actually building a healthy relationship with food AND your body? Why not using it TO your advantage rather than seeing it as a weapon to use AGAINST yourself.

Embracing the energetics of food, movement, connection, rhythms of nature is truly life changing. Understanding what to pull in to soothe the soul, feed your true hunger, find connection, weather the storm of emotions or stabilize during times of turbulence is SO DEEPLY EMPOWERING.

Rather than grasping, punishing, & fighting to stay afloat... It's about surrendering to the rhythms & energetics of nature, finding balance through opposites, allowing emotions & using compassion, empathy & kindness to move through rather than around the discomfort.

Rather than mindlessly grabbing or militantly choosing the same foods, exercises, relationships that truly DON'T meet your needs. It's about making conscious, emotionally aware & compassionate decisions for yourself. Quieting the mind to hear what the body & soul are trying to tell you and THEN RESPOND, taking informed, calm & caring action.

It feels like freedom, curiosity, connection, flexibility, compassion & play... I'll take that over a diet any day.

CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW!

YOGA, AYURVEDA & EATING DISORDERS

Rooted in Rhythm

As we reach the end of summer, I find myself looking forward to the regular rhythm, structure and routine that the fall schedule allows.

Though summer is most definitely my favorite season, it can tend to lend itself to irregular schedules, lack of sleep, adding ONE. MORE. THING., increased indulgences & pushing the limits.

Anyone with me?

It did allow me to look deeper into how it is that I keep a sense of daily rhythm both within myself as well as keeping our family afloat despite the more erratic schedule we hold during the summer or when the overwhelm of life just happens.

I noticed their were 3 core habits that would cause me to either sink or swim.

They are simple enough but implementation is key:

• Movement & Meditation in the morning (even just 1,5 or15 minutes)

• Eating a larger lunch to properly fuel myself during the day - creating a deeper stability both physically & emotionally

• Getting to bed by 10pm - before I hit my second wind.

Here are a few examples of ways I try & create a sense of ease & kaizen my approach:

Look for places where structure already exists (habit stacking).

Monday - Friday my husband works 9-5, so it's easier to build habits where I can stack one on top of another. This then also allows more freedom into our weekend plans, knowing 5/7 days my habits are in place. Allowing a deeper resiliency on the days when the 3 habits don't happen.

Letting go of the all or nothing approach.

Alarm didn't go off?
Ok, your morning movement/meditation practice is now simply 3 conscious breaths and setting an intention for the day before your feet hit the floor.

On the go & no time for a big lunch?
Try & make it as protein dense as possible so the energy will last till dinner.
There is nothing more chaotic than picking up kids from camp or school and you're ALL hangry & melting down!

Deadline you can't miss causing you to stay up later?
Set a timer and still allow 30 minutes to unplug & step away from the screens. Dim the lights, read a book, massage the feet. Give your body obvious signals it's time to wind down.

These are just a few examples, but I feel SO passionately about these magical gems. It's has proven to be a lifesaver whether I'm on overload mentally, physically or emotionally.

I'd LOVE to hear where YOU find success in finding reprieve in the ongoing demands of summer. What works for you? How do YOU keep yourself grounded & nourished during more chaotic times?

May we root to rise and rest easy in the rhythms we create for ourselves.

Overcoming Overwhelm

You down with O.P.P?

(Other Peoples Priorities)

Yeah, you know me!

I LOOOOOVE to say YES!

To opportunities, helping out, picking up shifts, creating events, going to events, organizing play dates, dinners, signing up for one more course, one more outing... you know the drill. But to be honest, I usually end up regretting it, feeling resentful or burned out by January.

This year I'm really trying to take a step back and bring a deeper awareness to what lights me up and brings me joy. What makes me feel energized & excited about my day, week, month and do more of THAT! This requires me to also honestly look at what is dragging me down, unnecessary obligations or a time filler that is wasting precious time. It's about getting back to the basics and keeping it simple.

Fall is a prime time for over scheduling, over committing & overwhelm. A transition time that can tend to take on a life of its own if we aren't careful. When we look at a new "year" it feels so exciting to say YES, to add one more thing to the calendar because it all sounds so good. We have our standard commitments & then the requests from others start filing in. Of course don't forget the holidays, all the (fun & exciting) extras... but before you know it, you're burning the candle at both ends.

If we can allow ourselves to slow down and bring in an awareness of this transition & seasonal shift we can use it to our advantage by creating intentional rhythms, practices & maintain clear boundaries when it comes to commitments.

In Ayurveda, fall is a also known as vata season (which is cool, light, dry, windy, and unpredictable) and will be less aggravating if you fill it with warmth, oiliness, deep nourishment, loving relationships, and a sense of stability, routine, and groundedness.

We bring balance in by working with opposites. So to settle the overwhelm we need to become clear in our priorities, minimize obligations/commitments & establish a rhythm to soothe and nurture our body mind & spirit on a daily basis.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE!

The overwhelm & chronic overcommitment is a theme that is ringing loudly talking to those in my community. It knows no bounds, whether you're a full time Mama, working, single, have a family, it feels universal this time of year.

But it doesn't have to, let's explore a better way & create an action plan...TOGETHER!

Join me for a FREE Online Workshop

SATURDAY
OCTOBER 19, 2019
9AM-10AM PST

FALL INTO RHYTHM & EMBRACE EASE

 Learn practical, holistic tools that will not only reduce stress but also build a sense of rhythm, vitality and ease within your body, mind & family. 

Embrace natures energetic rhythms and explore simple solutions to:

• Optimize time & energy

• Support your nervous system effectively using movement, breath & food

• Boost quality of sleep, immunity & digestion (perfect protection for upcoming flu season)

• Create a nurturing evening routine, cultivating care & connection

Clean Up your Conversations & Get Ready To Rumble

"Clear is Kind.  Unclear is Unkind"

I am a huge fan of Brene' Brown and recently finished the book "DARE TO LEAD- Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts" and this phrase really stuck with me. "Clear is Kind.  Unclear is Unkind."

It would follow me around throughout my day as I had conversations with others and I gained a very clear awareness of how muddy many of my interactions were.  Whether I needed to be more clear in the way I spoke to others or I needed to ask more questions to clarify expectations, it was VERY CLEAR I needed to clean up my conversations.

It can be easy to think that accommodating others, giving a "quick run down" or vague overview is actually a form of being a "team player" or not wasting others time with the details. In truth it simply creates more uncertainty, resentment & frustration.  When we are given or give the gift of clear intentions and expectations, we then are free to make honest choices & have truly productive conversations. 

So though I see examples of muddy talk in more than just myself, we all know.... change needs to start with YOU. 

So I've been challenging myself to "clear up" my conversations. 

• Logistics around childcare/appointments/work commitments 

• Clarity around emotions that I am feeling (I love how Brenee' disarms a difficult conversation by leading with  "the story I am telling myself") followed by a clear ask (I need a hug, I just need you to listen, I would like your perspective, Is this how you feel?)

• What details are expected in relations to a project, especially when needing to rely on others.   (What does DONE mean?  Give a detailed description of expectations so there are no surprises and also the other person doesn't waste time on unneeded work)

• Honest time evaluations ( "I'll be done in 10 minutes.... meanwhile an hour later)

• Choosing to give a clear "no" rather than a maybe and then struggling with needing to backtrack. 

So much time is wasted on uncertainty and it's also anxiety producing.  Reducing the noise, by being clear in our expectations, our needs and our "stories" enables more open, honest & productive conversations.   We work as a team in so many facets, whether in the traditional sense in the "office" or in our community, mom groups, families (extended & nuclear), we can truly transform our environments when we step into a leadership role of taking control of the conversation.

It isn't always comfortable and can take time to change the culture within these groups but it has to start somewhere.  When we clear up our conversations we enable each other to create a sense of autonomy, true joy, excitement and sense of ease around engaging with others.  When we're able to admit our limitations, emotions, needs or skill set, it allows another conversation to open up and for other resources to be tapped. 

Staying in the growth mindset of constantly challenging ourselves to rise above the noise, to be honest with where we are at,  where we can truly excel and where we need help is a humble and courageous adventure.

So as Brene' would say "Let's Rumble"!

DARE TO LEAD ASSESSMENT
Take Brene's test to evaluate your strengths and where you have opportunities for growth

I love when I hear back from you all, to know what resonates & how you're applying these concepts in real time.  Keep the conversations going, both here and in your own lives.  It's a beautiful feeling to watch our relationships and communities change when we have the courage to stand up and change the conversation.

Make a 1% shift and reap the rewards

Do you often feel like a work in progress?

Breathe deep and remember...
there is no end game

Life is always keeping us on our toes & the goal is to equip yourself with enough tools to move through the obstacles with a sense of confidence, resilience, curiosity & ease.  

Each day we navigate responsibilities, relationships, deadlines, expectations, not to mention the weight of others experiences and expectations.  Building an awareness of our emotional landscape as we move through our day and take a few minutes to process is one of the best ways to support ourselves when dealing with challenges. 

But this takes time right?? And who has TIME?  We can't control some of the chaos & unknowns that are thrown our way BUT WE CAN set ourselves up to have a day that has a sense of rhythm and intention.

By creating habits that sets up an environment that truly supports flow and ease is key.  Taking a proactive stance in architecting your environment for success by automating daily habits can make a world of difference.  When the day to day is automated, we create a little more time and space in the day to breathe, move & connect to those that we love.  

So I ask you... what is ONE SMALL CHANGE that you can make that would make life 1% easier? 

• set a positive intention for the day and take 3 big breaths each morning before your feet hit the floor

• move or stretch for 1 minute before checking your email

• set (workout) clothes out the night before

• double batch dinner so you have extra for lunch

• set up CSA box delivery to reduce # of grocery runs during the week

The list is just to get you thinking, but pick ONE small UNDERwhelming action you can take to make tomorrow just a little bit easier???

GO TAKE SOME ACTION!

If you find yourself feeling stuck & not sure where to start?

BOOK A FREE 20 MIN. SESSION and I’ll help you set up your next best day!

Rigidity to Resilience

Many years ago when I was struggling with my eating disorder,  my existence & routines were based on control & rigidity.  I felt as if I were a fragile egg, helplessly waiting for the hammer to come down.  Constantly living in a state of fear, as if I were only moments away from complete destruction.  Overwhelmed by insecurity, fear, unworthiness, anxiety & emotional intensity, strict routines and obsessive habits took hold as a feeble attempt to control the fragile emotional landscape within as well as to control the unknown dangers of the outside world.  The more fearful or out of control I felt, the stricter the routines or obsessive eating behaviors became.  A sense of calm would temporarily overcome me when I was allowed to be consumed with what, if, how or when I was going to eat.... this zone of comfort was short lived & extraordinarily narrow.  My eating disorder eventually consumed me, my false sense of control shattered, releasing the chaos within my soul.  Ultimately ravaging my body, mind & anything or anyone I came into contact with.

Healing slowly began, taking years, but underneath it all there was always a lingering fear of  structure.    Wondering if the switch would flip and I once again would become prisoner to my distorted perceptions, fixated on perfection & rigidity in the name of control.  For many years a deep sense of mistrust of my mind would linger... it had lead me so astray, causing so much pain and destruction. I remained on high alert, constantly second guessing myself.  Opting to trust other's opinions rather than my own.  Leaving me feeling depleted, deeply ungrounded and never truly fully living.

It wasn't until having children that my entire existence was uprooted and caused a mandatory reevaluation of who I was and how I chose to show up in the world.  A gift that I will forever be grateful for, it rocked my world and has been both the most deeply beautiful & challenging experience of my life. Teaching me to trust my body, my intuition, and truly appreciate the value of rhythm & creating a nurturing container.  Slowly I began trusting in the rhythm of nature, rather than the false sense of safety of a rigid structure that does not allow for variation.  Rather than obsessing on what the latest parenting book said, I tried to shift my focus on the child in front of me & the unique situation at hand.   Allowing my children to be seen & accepted rather than "fixed" allowed a deep sense of compassion and empathy, eventually spilling over to the way that I handled myself as well. Learning (and teaching them) to build a container that allows a sense of safety and encourages developing a grounding place within to come home to whenever life feels out of control or just too much is invaluable.   In early childhood, the days can seem to blur together...exhaustion lends itself to pure survival mode, but even in the fog, slivers of lucid awareness, joy, connection & nurturance can prevail.  A gentle daily ebb & flow of energy allowing not only expansion (or time of activity & connection) but equally as important, a time of contraction (or quiet & introspection) to allow both a dynamic & deeply replenishing daily rhythm.  Children automatically introduce this into our lives... deeply immersive play time partnered with a rejuvenating nap time makes for a happy child & Mom.  Remembering the value of this rhythm has allowed me to be mindful of how I expend energy and how I restore myself.  Selectively choosing what I allow in my life, frequently reassessing what truly serves me, letting go of what depletes me, choosing again daily and allowing a sense of flow & ease.  

Deep healing began, as I learned to navigate my emotions, appreciate my sensitivities and channel the ebb & flow of daily life.  Learning to trust my mind & body as a knowledgable guide and following my intuition.  Allowing the chaos & the mundane to wash through my life... examining the gifts that it brings.  Like a beautiful shell washed up onto the beach, I accept the gifts that bring a glimmer to my eye & throw back what does not.  Ironically allowing a sense of fluidity in my life is what keeps me deeply grounded.  I have found freedom and ease within rhythm and structure.  Ever learning how to skillfully ride the waves, trying not to cling, resist or fight against what life brings. Holding on to my daily habits of meditation, movement, nourishing foods & connection, knowing it is was keeps me afloat. Trusting in the steady rhythm of my days, I have found a deep sense of calm knowing that I have the tools to navigate the challenges that life inevitably brings.

Make a PACT with those you love...4 Steps to Compassionate Communication

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” - Aristotle

For fear of judgement & criticism, it can be easy to hold our thoughts, feelings & ideas close to our chest.  Demanding others to simply guess what is actually happening in our internal world.  Though this may feel like the safest way to engage with the world, it is definitely not the most dynamic or authentic.  Alternatively we may also react quickly and sharply, jumping to conclusions, disassociating ourselves from those in front of us.  Allowing ourselves to be honest when we are holding back or making assumption out of fear, we are more likely to be able to  step out of the entanglement of emotions & past patterning.

When connecting authentically with others it takes a good dose of vulnerability, emotional intelligence & resiliency.  I've found that this is most difficult with those that are closest to us (partners, close friends & family), whose opinions we hold most dear.  The fear of criticism & judgement can quickly take a casual conversation into a spiral of overwhelming emotions and lashing out, snarky remarks & even tears... leaving you smack dab in the middle of an argument, wondering "how did we get here?".   Quickly reacting & becoming aggressive or defensive when challenged on our thoughts/feeling/ actions can quickly shut down any conversation and lead to misery & misunderstandings.  As we create our own story of what is happening in our heads, we can easily forget we are engaging with another human being.  Rather than truly listening, we are preparing our defense.  Rather than allowing compassion & empathy to enter the conversation we throw a wall up, disconnect, no longer listen & prepare for battle.  Simply responding to the story that we've created in our heads rather than engaging fully in what is truly (and usually subtly) playing out before us.

This is where our 4 steps to compassionate connection come in, changing the dynamics of our conversations. Allowing us to make a PACT to engage empathetically with the one in front of us & with ourselves.

• PAUSE - Take a few deep breaths before you speak, allowing you to calm the nervous system & respond rather than react.  Mimic your meditation practice, noticing & naming the emotions you are having.  Allowing them to be present but also separate from your actual being, recognizing the response it elicits in your body (heart racing, clenching teeth, knot in the stomach, etc.)  & name what is is that you are feeling (fear, anger, sadness...).  Allow.  Notice.  Name.  Quietly as you breathe.  Checking in allows us to engage in a much more aware & thoughtful way.
• ASSESS - Take stock of both the environment (Has it been a stressful day? Are there fussy children at your feet? Is it right before mealtime?) as well as the emotional vibe (Have you or your partner had a short fuse all day? Feeling sensitive? Just left a stressful work/family situation).  We all have our limits, see where the barometer is landing at the moment (for both of you).
• CURIOSITY- Enter the conversation with a sense of curiosity rather than a sense of conviction.  Clarify by asking questions, digging deeper &  challenging assumptions (yours & theirs).  This allows an airing out of assumed assumptions and intent, rather than sticking to the story you've created in your head.
• TRUST - This can be the hardest one when we are feeling vulnerable & under fire.  But trusting that they are doing the best that they can at the moment.  We all struggle at showing up fully at every moment.  Some days can be challenging & giving the other the benefit of the doubt, allowing them to be human (therefore imperfect) we allow ourselves to also make mistakes.  When we are met with a sense of compassion and empathy it is much easier to admit to making mistakes or to soften our responses.

This is a process & a practice of building a more and more subtle awareness, not only what is happening within ourselves but also those we are connecting with & our environments.  As we refine our internal awareness (thoughts, sensations & feelings) we are able to own our emotional environment & engage from a place of deep connection and ownership, rather than simply dropping into a power play desperately grasping for control.  Building our emotional awareness, our bodies reactions & learning to trust our intuitive & inquisitive nature we can change the name of the game all together... from criticism, control & judgement to one of curiosity, compassion & connection.  

The Curse of the Caregiver

We have all been witness to or have actually experienced the curse of the caregiver ourselves. As a nurse, mother, wife, daughter, yoga teacher... this has been a running theme not only in my life but that I see over and over again in those around me.  The ability to give and give and give... yet never receive (even often adamantly refusing offers of care or help from others).  Our identity & (self) perceived value is delicately wrapped in our ability to effectively care for others.  And though there is deep well of care, compassion & empathy for those who receive our care... we do not afford the same kindness to ourselves.  Our own need for care can often be fueled by thoughts of failure, self judgement or selfishness.  This one way flow of energy often quickly leads to overwhelm, resentment and burnout.

Though some may heavily identify with this role as caregiver and even choose it as their profession, many end up in this role by default, through societal expectations or family demands.  We often assume these positions without much thought, but when we reach the point of burnout, we suddenly realize we may not necessarily have the tools to skillfully navigate this role. 

So how DO we navigate this role skillfully? 

Self care seems to be so misunderstood & dismissed as self indulgent, expensive, or time consuming.  Visions of luxurious massages, drinks by the poolside, lazy days on the beach, dinners out, or overwhelmingly complex self-care routines may come to mind.

True self care comes in the small decisions we make everyday...

• Infusing our after shower routine of applying oil or lotion with thoughtful touch & positive self talk, giving gratitude for all the amazing gifts our bodies afford us.
• Taking the time to cook nourishing meals that will sustain us during our hectic demanding days.  Food is grounding, sustaining us both energetically & emotionally throughout our day.   Putting high demands on our bodies without the proper food to sustain us leave us feeling anxious, erratic & easily overwhelmed by the end of the day. 
• Moving - whether a bit of yoga, a 5 min stretch between tasks, a quick run or a walk with the family.  Finding small moments for joyful movement. Movement is also grounding and a wonderful way to flush ourselves with new vibrant energy, releasing tensions & processing emotions as we move through our day.
• Connecting deeply with others, allowing a sense of vulnerability for them AND you.  This is where the gold is!  Knowing you are not alone in your experiences & struggles is invaluable.  When we allow ourselves to be open with others we then enter a shared experience vs. feeling as though you alone in your struggles or are solely carrying the burden of others.
• Prioritizing sleep.  Our bodies are incredibly complex and powerful, but they need sleep to release, replenish & renew.  Allowing your body to cleanse & heal itself by allowing time for adequate sleep is crucial.  
• Voicing your needs.  Not only identifying your needs (many times we can quickly rattle off what we need) but also voicing these needs to those in your daily circle.  Once known these needs can now be integrated into the day to day flow.  Time can be set aside, tasks can be delegated, care can be given when others are aware of your needs.  The saying "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" sound familiar ;)!?  We have a responsibility to ourselves and to those closest to us to be healthy & happy.  

Theses small changes may not seem very glamorous, but they are powerful.  Many of these "tasks" (showering, cooking, etc.)  are already part of your daily routine.  It is the ability to bring in a sense of care, candor & intention into our daily routine that can make all of the difference.  Allowing ourselves to be a priority, checking in daily with ourselves to assess our current needs & trusting that we will attend to our own needs is imperative in learning to be a skillful caregiver.  

As we learn to regard our own health with as much importance and care as we do others, we will notice that our ability to be of service & to genuinely connect will soar.  There is much joy one can find in being of service to others.  The trouble is when we are in service of others, in spite of ourselves.  It needs to be a packaged deal.  We must learn to give to others because we know how to take care of ourselves.  To lead by example and allow ourselves to not only identify but also own our self-care needs.  Allowing them to become woven into the structure of our daily habits, into the flow and rhythm of our day.  This precious act will help not only us thrive, but also for others to thrive as we all learn to value and care for ourselves and each other in an more authentic and sustainable way.

What's Your Why? 5 Simple Steps to Understanding your Hunger Cues

5 SIMPLE STEPS TO UNDERSTANDING YOUR HUNGER CUES

In our hectic and hurried world it can feel about as clear as mud.  As we move through our day we are constantly bombarded with a flurry of emotions, overstimulating environments, over scheduling and unrelenting demands.  It can be difficult to decipher what exactly you are feeling let alone why!  

With these 5 simple steps, you'll be able to do a quick scan & accurately be able to identify your hunger cues.  It is an invaluable tool to be able to have the ability to identify what is happening in our bodies at any given time (also known as interoceptive awareness)  & respond appropriately to it's needs.  Food, alcohol, t.v., coffee, wine & other substances are often a quick fix for what the body is truly needing... sleep, nourishing food, connection, quiet, touch or movement.  

So let's break it down...

Emotional Hunger is a desire to eat (or not eat) to change a feeling state.

Physical Hunger is the desire to eat to nourish oneself.

The definitions may be clear BUT...

It can be very confusing to know exactly what the driving force is when it comes to feeling hunger.  It's easy to simply grab a bite to eat whenever the urge hits us, as it can immediately soothe and provide a sense of grounding, but in order to understand what our body and mind are truly craving, we need to break it down.  Emotional eating is not uncommon, we use food all the time as a way to celebrate (birthdays) or to console (sickness or death) one another. Emotional eating can become an issue though when food is your sole source of comfort.

Learning to quiet our mind & body in order to recognize our bodies subtle (or not so subtle) cues is the key to differentiating between EMOTIONAL VS. PHYSICAL hunger.

Take a moment-  take a few breaths, scan your body and ask yourself these

5 KEY QUESTIONS- WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY

WHO- Who is around? Are you comfortable to eat anywhere or are you eating in isolation or secrecy?

WHAT - What does your food craving look like?  Is it VERY specific (salty chips, a need to crunch, chocolate, mom's homemade cake) and nothing else will do? Or is it more general, you have preferences but it's not the end of the world.

WHERE - Where in your body are you noticing sensation?  Is your belly rumbling, gurgling, having hunger pangs? Is there an intense need to chew or taste?  A heaviness, sinking, fluttering feeling, or pain in the chest?

WHEN- Does the hunger come in sporadic waves or on a predictable schedule?  Is there a misplaced sense of urgency?  A neutral tone around eating? Does it come on suddenly or in a gradual, progressive manner?

WHY- Does the hunger feel insatiable or proportionately satiable?  Are you aware of any intense or uncomfortable feelings or situations that might be contributing to a need to comfort yourself?  

Hunger cues are not as clear and concise as their definitions, but you'll notice that you will weigh in heavier on one side or the other.  Once the verdict is in, now you can make a conscious decision that is best for BOTH your body and mind.  Emotional eating is a red flag that your emotional needs are not being met and is why you are reaching for food to soothe and comfort yourself.  It is in these moments of awareness that you have the opportunity to take a deeper look and nourish your entire being by noticing that what you may be truly craving is self-compassion, connection, movement, validation or love.

In my upcoming workshop What's Your Why? Reverse Engineering Your Habits we'll be diving deep into understanding not only our hunger cues but also learning how to navigate the nervous system, developing practices to build your interoceptive awareness using breath and gentle yoga.  By learning to identify your true why, you are then able to build more sustainable and embodied practices to regulate your nervous system and truly meet your bodies needs.  I invite you to join us on this dynamic journey & bring the New Year in together!

"Food nourishes the body; love nourishes the Soul."

- Dr. Vasant Lad, Ayurvedic Physician

 

Remember the Spice Girls?

Growing up, out of all the Spice Girls I used to wish I was Sporty Spice, she always looked strong, powerful & like she didn't take any sh*&t!  Not much has changed!! 

I went for a quick run on Christmas day, it ended leaving me with a deep sense of gratitude for the journey that has taken me here.  I felt strong & powerful (which made me remember my Sporty Spice phase!) but realizing it was on such a deeper level.  As I prep for my next workshop, it's all about creating lasting sustainable habits.  Knowing your "why" and learning the language YOUR body speaks when it is stressed.  My usual M.O. in the past would have been to ignore my need for exercise, to move mechanically through the 'to do' list for the day but with a underlying frustration and sense of angst in my body.

But this time, I decided to RUN!  I ended my run, filled with gratitude and feeling so proud of all the work that I've put in all of these years, to learn it's language... and most importantly to listen.  We all have that deep awareness within us.  We "know" what we "should" be doing for ourselves, but consider it an indulgence, promptly ignoring our bodies signals until finally our body DEMANDS that we stop and take a break. 

As 2017 closes, my heart is filled with such incredibly deep gratitude for all of those who have supported me  through the many highs and lows, all of these years.  These many years of self discovery, research, trial & error... it feels incredible to know that not only do I know how to take care of my body & mind, but that I now view it simply as a must have self-care routine rather than an indulgence that only happens occasionally when I finally break down.  I definitely still get caught caught up in the whirlwind of being a mother, working, homeschooling & boat life, but I feel super confident knowing how to reset. 

2017 was a year of many many lessons, some not as fun as I was hoping, but it has left me a lot more resilient, grounded and overall a pretty damn spicy chick!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that....

I laughed....these were the words that came from my 8 year old son when I told him I was turning 41 this year.  I explained to him that actually I enjoy getting older, just like he does.  So to hear his condolences for my recent birthday really made me take pause and question how I speak around my son about getting older as well as societies perception of aging.  As we age, especially over 40 we are taught to greet our birthday with a sense of loss, lost chances, loss of youth, beauty, prowess.... the list goes on.  I'm finding it to be the opposite though (ok maybe except for those pesky wrinkles) I find each year and each gray hair is a badge of honor, that I've made it this far.  Growing up I struggled with an eating disorder & I didn't think I'd ever make it past 20 let alone 40.  So each day that I am able to gain more clarity into what makes me thrive and continually refine my habits to support a more grounded, connected and joyful existence, it fills me with incredible gratitude to be on this journey.  

My son's comment came only 2 days before I was to run my first 1/2 marathon in 9 years, since before my first son was born.  I had only trained to run 3 miles (let alone 13) so I was just along for the ride and wanted to try and enjoy the experience.  I had to let go of any expectations, judgement or comparison.... I was amazed at  my experience. During my run I found that I was filled with the absolute deepest sense of gratitude, so much so that I found myself tearing up many times during my run.  As I ran, I was able to reflect and honestly assess and appreciate how far I have come in the past 20 years.  My husband is usually the one that has to do this for me as I can tend to be a bit critical of myself and short sighted.  The days that I feel frustrated and stuck he reminds me of how far I have come.  I truly feel like I have lived many lives in these past 41 years, burning down like a phoenix only to rise again and reinvent myself.  During my run I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my body and its ability to adapt to stressful situation, not only during the run but also during times of emotional stress.  That I've learned HOW to care for my body and mind & even though I may still trip and fall... the holes aren't as deep and it doesn't take me as long to pick myself up again. I used to feel guilty for needing to take time for myself to sit in silence, to eat a certain way, take time for yoga & exercise. I would fight all the signs, the exhaustion, short temper, restless nights, back pain, headaches.... and I would eventually crash. Each time I had to drag myself out of the deep pit of exhaustion & overwhelm, it felt just as hard as the first time.  

It wasn't until I made my health a priority and took a hard honest look at myself and my environment that lasting change was able to happen.  By taking time to step back and honor my natural tendencies (rather than ignore or berate myself for having them)  I've been able to learn how to skillfully navigate the terrain of my life.  Knowing that I am prone to anxiety, am highly sensitive and am a bit of an introvert I can easily get overwhelmed by what others would consider a normal environment.  If I want to thrive I have to make sure that sleep, nourishing cooked meals, exercise and quiet time are a MUST in my daily life.  I've watched my cycles and know that if I skip one or more of these for more than 3 days, my system crashes.  The time it takes to reboot and recover takes much longer (a week or so) than maintaining this consistent self care.  It used to feel like an extravagance to expect so much and these accommodations certainly don't come easy.  Especially for me when I live on a sailboat with my husband and 2 young, wild and crazy boys.  Through conscious choices , dedication, compromise & incredible partner support I'm able to keep myself afloat.  The saying "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  resonates deeply here on our boat!  Living in a small space tends to illuminate both positives and negatives.   I have a responsibility not only to myself but also to my family to stay healthy and happy.  I have learned the importance of reaching out for help, clearly stating my needs, asking for time away and blocking time on the calendar for things that are important to me.  Luckily I have an incredibly supportive husband who knows my tendencies & how important my daily self care is, he gently nudges me in the right direction when he notices that I'm struggling.  I am surrounded by family and friends that have always supported my growth, challenged my b.s.  and held my hand and gave me a big hug in the moments when it all just felt like too much.  So as I enter into my 40's and reflect on the journey I've been on so far it is with deep sense of gratitude, love & compassion that I look forward to the journey ahead.  

The Method & Madness of Kaizen

The strategic, slow, step by step method of Kaizen (small incremental steps towards improvement) is one of the most effective ways to create deep and lasting change… and it can also be the most maddening.  When we find ourselves fed up, the desperation for change building in our chests, we want to explode.  We promise ourselves… this time, this time it WILL be different and I’ll be able to overcome all odds and change (insert unwanted habit here).  We want there to be a drastic shift in our existence (preferably in the next 24 hours please!).  Hoping that in our desperate need for change a similarly drastic shift in our daily experiences will happen.  This unfortunately isn’t usually the case (think back to your last New Year’s resolution).  Though our efforts are heroic, they are not sustainable.

This. This, is where my life lesson begins and continues.  It is through years of trial and error, of desperation and (short lived) elation, I have learned the deep value of this simple concept of Kaizen.  How creating small actionable steps, underwhelming goals for myself, along with a healthy dose of self-compassion has helped me to create habits of true and lasting change.  It has guided my daily habits (eating, exercise, self-care) as well as my yoga practice.  Learning to listen to my body when it comes to its need to move and be nourished, honoring my need for quiet and stillness and setting compassionate goals for myself is a lifelong practice.  When anxiousness sets in and old patterns take over, I come back again and again to the concept of Kaizen.  Assessing honestly where I am (body, mind &spirit) and what steps I can truly commit to in order to move towards a more joyful, connected and grounded life.  These small steps are what allow me to return again and again to a place of peace and acceptance.  Allowing myself to celebrate with each step forward I take, rather than beating myself up for not reaching a goal that was truly unobtainable in the first place.

Finding balance as we navigate our complex lives may feel elusive at times.  Allowing ourselves to honestly assess where we are in the moment and create realistic goals for ourselves (create underwhelming goals, for example: going to bed 5 min earlier, stretching for 2 min every morning (lacing up shoes can count as long as there’s intention behind it!), eating a warm breakfast once a week.) will help to create a positive feedback loop.  As we take one step closer towards balance, we step deeper into integrity and not only embrace but honor who we are truly meant to be.  This slow and steady progress will create deep and lasting changes and a method to the madness of finding our center over and over again.

Let’s support each other as we navigate the messiness of life.  Coming “home” again and again, one step at a time!